🌧️ After the Rain: On Being Left Out, Letting Go, and Finding Peace in My Absence
There’s a scene in After the Rain by Brandy Bruce that stopped me in my tracks. The character had moved from Texas to Colorado, leaving behind a friend group that had become tangled in heartbreak and betrayal. Her ex-boyfriend ended up with her best friend, and in the wake of it all, she realized something profound:
“Moving... it took me out of the equation of their lives so they didn’t have to choose sides. It let them heal as a group.”
And just like that, something clicked inside me.
🍂 What If My Absence Was the Gift?
I’ve spent the last few years feeling like the one who got left out—at work, in church, in friendships. I wasn’t just passed over—I was pushed out. And it hurt.
But hearing that fictional character’s reflection made me wonder…
What if my stepping away gave others room to breathe and become?
What if my quiet departure allowed unity instead of division?
What if my presence would have kept the wound open—and my absence gave them the space to heal?
I still don’t love how it happened. But maybe… some good came from the letting go.
🩹 While They Healed, I Was Bleeding
What that book didn’t show, though, is what it feels like to be the one who left—not by choice, but by necessity.
While others were moving on, I was fighting for air:
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Handling my father’s estate almost entirely alone, while grieving and overwhelmed.
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Surviving two foot surgeries, a week in the hospital, and 10 weeks with a wound vac strapped to me.
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Walking like a penguin through an empty house filled with 50 years of family history I had to sort and surrender.
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Feeling the crushing silence of siblings who disappeared when I needed them most.
My spiritual gift is “helps.” I would’ve shown up for them. I did show up for everyone, until I was cracked and dry. Their absence was a betrayal I couldn’t explain—and for a long time, couldn’t forgive.
Only now, years later, has my sister even acknowledged the toll it took on me.
🌿 The Quiet Growth in My Own Absence
This season—lonely, unchosen, and exhausting—has shaped something deeper in me:
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I’m learning to trust my voice, not just echo others’.
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I’m learning to receive, not just give until I break.
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I’m learning that God’s plan for healing includes me, not just the ones I’ve left behind.
And as strange as it sounds, I’m beginning to feel peace not just after the rain—but in the rain. In the muddy, messy middle where I’m still sorting it all out.
🌈 The Kind of Rain That Heals
Maybe being left out wasn’t rejection.
Maybe it was release.
Maybe leaving wasn’t failure.
Maybe it was faith.
And maybe… my absence wasn’t just their healing—it was mine too.
God is not finished with the story.
Not with theirs.
Not with mine.
☁️ For Anyone Who’s Been Quietly Carrying It All…
You’re not invisible.
You’re not forgotten.
And your story didn’t end when they walked away.
It’s only now beginning to bloom—after the rain.
🌦 Healing After the Rain: A Journal for the Ones Who Carried It All
A quiet space to reflect, release, and remember who you are in the aftermath of storms you never asked for but survived anyway.
Each section invites you to explore a part of your story—gently, honestly, and Spirit-led.
💧 1. What Fell Apart
"Sometimes you don’t see the storm until the damage is done."
🖊️ Prompts:
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What moment in the last few years made you feel most unseen or unsupported?
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What did you need most from others during that time—and did you ask for it?
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What are the things you wish you could say to the people who let you down?
📖 Scripture:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
🌱 2. What Grew in the Mud
“The rain didn’t destroy you. It softened the ground for something new to root.”
🖊️ Prompts:
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How have your gifts (like helps, discernment, creativity) still shown up—even in survival mode?
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What traits or truths about yourself have emerged that surprise you?
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What is something you handled alone that you’re quietly proud of?
📖 Scripture:
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” – Isaiah 40:29
☔ 3. When You Were the One Who Left
“You didn’t burn bridges—you laid yourself down like one.”
🖊️ Prompts:
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Has your absence ever made others better, even if it hurt you?
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Where have you walked away not in bitterness, but in silent mercy?
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Who (or what) did you release that was never yours to carry?
📖 Scripture:
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” – Genesis 50:20
🌈 4. Finding Peace in the Rearview
“I was never forgotten. Only replanted.”
🖊️ Prompts:
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If peace had a voice in your life right now, what would it say to you?
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What would it look like to stop proving your worth and simply rest in it?
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What healing have you seen that never would’ve happened if you’d stayed?
📖 Scripture:
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14
🕊️ 5. The Rain Didn’t Wash You Away—It Made You Shine
“After the rain, I’m still here. Softer. Braver. Still beloved.”
🖊️ Prompts:
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What does the new version of you want and need going forward?
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What’s a small act of kindness or creativity you can offer to yourself this week?
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If God whispered a name for you right now, what do you imagine it might be?
📖 Scripture:
“I have called you by name; you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1
🪶 Closing Blessing
“You are not the things that broke.
You are not the people who left.
You are the soul God carried through it all—
Loved. Chosen. Healing. Home.”
